Treatment to Help Spouses/Partners of Sexual Addicts or Pornography Addicts
Unfortunately, in the world outside of treatment the spouses/partners of addicts tend to be overlooked as attention is focused on the addict and stopping the addict’s behavior. Their experience is often one of feeling alone and ashamed as they assume that there is something about them that has caused the addict’s behavior. Since frequently the addict has tried to hide his/her behavior, the spouse/partner experiences the discovery of the addiction as a betrayal. Trust is severely damaged, which cripples emotional intimacy and creates distance and a breakdown in communication. Spouses often exhibit many of characteristics of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) similar to returning combat veterans such as a sense of helplessness, fear, recurrent distressing memories and dreams, flashbacks when anything in the present resembles the betrayal, and a foreboding sense of doom about the future. Treatment for spouses/partners includes individual therapy and group therapy. It focuses on education about the addiction, developing a network of support, processing feelings of grief and anger, and establishing safe boundaries with the addict. These boundaries are the beginning of creating a safe environment for the spouse/partner. Meanwhile the addict with the assistance of his/her individual therapist and group members is able to take actions on a consistent basis that promote safety for his/her spouse/partner.
When sufficient stability is achieved in both the spouse/partner and the addict, they are ready to begin couples counseling or marriage therapy using Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), which has proven to be effective with about 75 percent of all couples who are interested in working through their relationship problems.