Marriage Therapy and Couples Counseling
Research in the past 20 years has shown that all human beings are “wired for connection” with another loving person. This need for secure attachment is different than co-dependency which limits and constrains a person. Secure attachment has been described as “effective dependency” by Dr. Susan Johnson, one of the creators of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. Secure attachment actually empowers and strengthens a person to stretch and risk becoming all he or she can be.
As our society has become more mobile and families have been more dispersed, the importance of having a loving couple relationship has become even more important. The key question in our love relationships which determines whether we feel safe and secure addresses whether we feel our loved one is accessible , responsive , and engaged. Do you ever have these questions come to mind when you are feeling upset in your relationship:
All couples at times will be troubled by these questions, however when pornography addiction or sexual addiction is involved these questions are especially troubling because the answer in one’s mind to each question is persistently “no”. This is experienced as an attachment trauma often bringing on an experience of anxiety and panic. As a certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist (EFT) I help couples learn to be there for each other and rebuild the trust in their relationships. EFT has been thoroughly researched and proven to be successful 75 percent of the time at healing relationships as compared to studies which show that other forms of couples therapy are generally successful only 35 percent of the time.